Yo I've got something to get off my chest
I think I have a crush on Fantastic Fest
As genre fests go it's among the best
If it was publicly traded I'd surely invest
We'll have games and movies and barbecues
And tons of alcohol for you drunks to choose
(In Austin even babies can handle their booze)
And we even welcome people like women and jews
It all takes place at the House of Draft
Where I once saw a comedy and really laughed
But the owner was once convicted of graft
And conspiring to blackmail the estate of George Raft
We get great flicks thanks to Tim and Harry
But they're often pretty scary so you better be wary
And I know this will make me sound contrary
But we all know who's in charge and that is Karrie
The Alamo crew smokes butts out back
But they're so damn crazy you'd think it's crack
And I hope this confession doesn't earn me a smack
But I once went upstairs and saw Lars kissing Zack
Wall-to-wall movies are always great
But the food's good too, plus it comes on a plate
The fest is perfect if you're out on a date
Watch some French splatter and then procreate!
Don't bring your own food into the place
Or you probably won't get to stuff your face
(And the servers will beat you and then give chase)
It's tough to eat cheese fries when you're in a neck brace
It's not like Austin is really far
Just go to Central Texas and find the nearest bar
Whether you're in Philly, Guam or Zanzibar
Just remember this: 1120 South Lamar
But seriously folks, and I mean this sincerely
It's a shame that Fantastic Fest comes only yearly
It's an awesome event that I truly love dearly
And I'm sorry if this poem has ended rather queerly
Remember the short THE FIFTH about a poker game between some pretty rough characters? We sure do. It was dark. It was witty. It was very well acted. We loved it.
